What is Battering?
Battering is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.
The behavioral warning signs of a potential batterer include extreme possessiveness, unpredictability, cruelty to animals and verbal abusiveness. He/she may also share the following characteristics:
Uses violence when he/she feels they are losing control over a partner.
A male batterer will often objectify women.
Refusal to hold themselves accountable for violence
A batterer may appear to be pleasant and charming between periods of violence. Outsiders see batterers as a nice guy/girl.
Embarrasses or makes fun of you in front of friends or family
Puts down your parenting, accomplishments or goals
Make you feel unable to make decisions
Uses intimidation (looks) or threats
Tells you that you are nothing without him/her
Physical abuse: grabbing, pushing, shoving, or hitting
Calls you several times a day/night or shows up unexpectedly
Uses drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or physically abusing you
Blames you for how they feel or act
Forces you to have sex
Controls your actions (who you see, talk to or where you go)
Takes Social Security check makes you ask for money
Threatens to take away or hurt the your children
Prevents you from working or attending school
Threatens to commit suicide or kill you
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Trained counselors provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling staff the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day.
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)
Automatically transfers you to the rape crisis center nearest you, anywhere in the nation.
National Teen Dating Violence Hotline
Phone 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 TTY)
Text “loveis” to 22522
Common Myths about Domestic Violence:
It is only abuse if your partner hits you: Interpersonal violence comes in many forms. As a society, we focus most of our attention on physical violence, characterized as hitting, slapping or punching. However, other forms of abuse are equally damaging. These other forms of abuse include:
He/She lost control: Abuse is a pattern of controlling behavior. The Intimate partner’s violence is not about anger. The goal of an abusive person is to establish and maintain control over their partner.
She/He likes the abuse: There are complex reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. Unfortunately, it is easier to blame the victim instead of addressing the complexities. Some of the contributing factors to victims staying include:
Additionally, separation is often the most dangerous time for victims of domestic violence. According to the Department of Justice, 75% of domestic violence homicides occur after separation.